His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just gift wrapped bread.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
