She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
