So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
