NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
