Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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