It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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