I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
