I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
