have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
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