so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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