I cannot find my penis.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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