dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
