how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
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