It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
