In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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