guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Four minutes until I can fart!
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize