South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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