He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
