I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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