Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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