i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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