the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
