dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We left an ass print on the piano.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He? As in you personified your dick?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
