Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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