That's when you crack a 10am beer
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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