woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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