We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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