He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
