no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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