I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
