friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
