I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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