Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
