Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
