ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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