I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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