Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize