my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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