Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
