normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
