so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
