the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
