the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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