you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Even my vagina gasped.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
