Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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