I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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