somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
