i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
