its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
