So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's rum buckets o'clock
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
