OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Randomize
