she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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