Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
