i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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