i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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