And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
