hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
