Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
