oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
