i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
