just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
