I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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