...so i touched it.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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