My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
