She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
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He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
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Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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