Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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